The Fisherman's Wife, and Also Husband
by Aelibia
Summary: When Sakura needs a wedding venue to marry her two best boys, the choice is easy! Because there's only one choice that will (1) do the thing and (2) not get them arrested. Sakura/Itachi/Kisame


A/N: Prompt fill from Ao3! Enjoy.

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**The Fisherman's Wife. And Also Husband.**

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Pink accents, lemon chiffon cake, an overcast spring day with a light breeze. As a child, Sakura planned her wedding with Sasuke down to the catered menu, down to the color of wood trim she'd prefer at the reception venue.

Time had absolved her of her attraction to Sasuke, but she'd held onto her final dream like a lifeline. She'd given up her hair, she'd given up dieting and a wispy figure, she'd given up marrying the Uchiha, but what was the harm in clinging to one last little thing? Surely the world wouldn't see fit to deprive her of a dream wedding.

But as she sat in a supply closet dripping in ten places from leaks, holding a hand mirror between her legs to do her own makeup, Sakura had to admit that she was miles away, figuratively and literally, from that final, desperate, tulled-all-to-shit fantasy.

Well, actually, she _had_ gotten an Uchiha in the end. Just not the one originally sketched in the corners of her notebook in class.

"Sakura," Kisame Hoshigaki poked his head into the closet at three feet lower than his actual height in an attempt to make eye contact with his fiance at upturned-bucket level. Three cats immediately ran in and began weaving in and around Sakura's legs, meowing at great volume. "We're ready when you are."

"I'll be right there." Sakura smiled and closed her compact. Kisame bowed his head and attempted to close the door, but a flood of cats continued to nose their way into the Forbidden Space and ultimately the door was left standing open.

Deep breaths. Sakura stood, smoothed down the front of her simple dress, and left the closet. The hallway ran down quite a length in either direction; bright lights and murmuring coming from the cracks of a nearby door marked her destination.

So yes, she hadn't gotten what she wanted as far as venue, or colors, or-two cats streaked past her, shrieking and tumbling in an impromptu groom-battle-presence or lack thereof concerning felines. But, when your destination wedding took place in Sora-ku, the abandoned city and only municipality to legally recognize polyamorous weddings, and when your official was Nekobaa, the only person they'd found willing to perform the ceremony, you just made do with the cats, and with everything else.

Cats or no cats, nothing could quench the fiery happiness burning like a bonfire within Sakura's chest. She entered the room with little ceremony, having no attendants or parents to walk ahead of her. Her best family, Team 7, perched in a few rickety chairs around the room. Naruto, in his typical exuberant way, had made a sign reading _YoU LoOk AmaZiNG! 3 _and held it high above his head when he saw Sakura enter. Sasuke kept glancing up at the front of the room and looked constipated, but he always looked like that. Tenzo looked back at her with a thumbs up. His other hand occupied itself patting Kakashi-sensei on the back, who was a bit drunk and swaying on his seat. Silent tears poured down his face. About fifty cats made up the rest of their guests. Some were ninja cats, but mostly strays from the city that Nekobaa fed.

And there, at the front, her two husbands-to-be: Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha, both in the traditional wedding garb of their respective clans. Sakura might have been willing to make some aesthetic concessions on her own dress, but Itachi, ever the traditionalist, insisted on the ancestral wedding attire, and Kisame didn't need more than the slightest provocation to break into Mist to grab something from his mom's house back at the clan compound.

Interestingly, that had been a lucky break for the three of them. Kisame's mother, of all people, happened to know of a place that would allow marriage between three equal participants. The city of cats, she'd directed her son. She'd been unable to attend the ceremony but had sent fond regards. It was enough of a gift in and of itself that Sakura felt no resentment; originally the plan had been a non-legal ceremony deep in the woods where no one could arrest them, but when a chance like this presented itself, you took it.

Besides, meeting Nekobaa had been fun. Itachi, having recognized the place Kisame's mother described to her son, took Sakura there ostensibly to look at swords but in truth to convene with the woman. Nekobaa was delighted. She loved weddings, she'd said, and anything that got people out here to visit was reason enough to become ordained.

Standing in front of her little family, her two best boys at her sides, Sakura felt inclined to agree. Nekobaa nodded at each of them in turn, and began. The ceremony was short and sweet, as agreed upon, and there was only one cat fight in the back to interrupt things. Nekobaa's granddaughter provided refreshments, and to the delight of all not one cat hair could be found among the trays of hors d'oeuvres.

Kakashi continued to become drunker and puddled onto the floor after a certain point, sobbing about how proud he was of who Sakura had become. Tenzo eventually took pity for what remained of the man's pride and dragged him off to their room down the hall. Predictably, Naruto became teary as well, having made it to the actual send-off. He clasped Sakura's hand, told her she looked beautiful, and made vague threats toward her husbands should they hurt Sakura in any way. As it should be.

Sasuke mumbled congratulatory words to the three of them, his constipation not any less noticeable, but he tried, and that's what mattered to Sakura. It _was_ kind of weird to find out your brother was still alive and that he was also fucking your old teammate who had a crush on you as kids...all on the same day. And that both of _them_ were also fucking Kisame Hoshigaki.

And then they were alone at last in their suite, a guest room identical to all the others differentiated only by the rice bowl full of condoms on the nightstand. The three shared a long hug, tired and content. So the affair hadn't gone according to the plan she'd had as a girl. No time to pick colors, no cake, and no clue as to the weather because the whole thing had been in a basement. Yes, it _hadn't _gone all according to plan.

It had been even better.

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A/N: The cats watched.

Prompts are being accepted again. By me. If y'all want a prompt filled, give me the informations. Please give me pairing/characters and a somewhat fleshed out idea; I really really don't like single word or song lyric prompts because I am in school full time again and don't have the brain power to extend that shit imaginatively on your behalf.

I prefer pairings with Sakura since that's what I have the most experience with but I'll consider anything. It won't be porn unless you specify it's porn. I'm totally willing to do porn as you can see from my extensive pornographic lineup. If you want real juicy shit it'll get posted on Ao3. It will be 1000 words or less. Unsure whether I want to do one story with multiple chapters where each chapter is its own prompt or publish a bunch of tiny stories. It seems like tiny stories just get so messy on this website. On Ao3 it'll be individually published stories but under a single series banner that can be filtered out from my other content. Thoughts?


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